Why men have extramarital affairs?
Talk about a loaded topic that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on from millennium. Extramarital affairs can be filled with evils, cause despair, and other troubles. Plus you must wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty thing, funds, age difference, faith upbringing, remorse, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I will identify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, discreet dating for married.
Why do men have affairs? There are as many answers as there are seeking extramarital affairs. I am sure mainly though it is only the human state, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
In nature we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and exciting, and sex makes us escape the world for a small period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Someone are able to switch the desire on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another person, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos culture has erected against married dating. For lots of people the yearnings will overcome their doubts and make them risk the fury of not only their relatives, but the public too. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is extremely pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not wound your relatives or anybody else? You would need to minimize the danger you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the biggest grouping, huge really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they feel comfy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the children to think about. Your finances are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their spouse. An extra-marital affair from time to time solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Avoidance, sadly this is a regular reason I fear. One or the other, as a rule the male is sexually neglecting his female for a large humber of reasons. As a man I truly am grateful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us males of romance, making them “hot wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, could be compassion is not here, maybe it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Maybe we have just grown apart, our ordinary interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is contradictory of what you want. Maybe I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they search for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.